Do you avoid confrontation, holding back your true feelings? Keeping our emotions inside might seem safer, but it's not good for our mental, spiritual and physical well-being. If the idea of confrontation equals conflict to you, it's time to rethink. Learning to voice your feelings openly doesn’t just clear the air—it also opens doors for stronger, more genuine relationships. Speaking up and staying true to our own values is a key step towards a more fulfilling life with deeper connections to others and ourselves.
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Here’s where to start:
Understand your fear
What are you afraid of? Reflecting on your reasons for not speaking up is the first step towards addressing the issue. Often, these fears are rooted in childhood experiences or come from concerns about losing relationships, fear of hostility, or worries about being judged or disliked. Understanding your fear allow you to weigh what you might gain against what you fear losing. It’s very likely that the potential benefits of expressing yourself outweigh the risks.
Take your time
If confronting an issue on the spot feels overwhelming, it's ok to wait. Giving yourself time to process your feelings and thoughts can lead to a more effective and honest conversation. However, setting a time limit, ideally within 24-48 hours, is crucial to avoid indefinite postponement. There may never be a perfect time, so decide when you will bring it up and hold yourself accountable.
Honesty Over Comfort
People who dislike confrontation often use language that puts the other person's feelings before their own. You might think you are getting your point across, but in reality, you are downplaying the issue. Avoid this approach. When speaking up, speak clearly and with honesty, avoiding blame. Focus on expressing your feelings, not accusations. Using phrases like 'I felt hurt when...' instead of 'you did...' can help express your emotions clearly without making the other person defensive. Remember, it's about sharing your truth, not diminishing it to spare someone else's feelings.
Remember. Not every disagreement requires confrontation. Choose your battles and focus on issues that truly matter to you.
BY: ANIA HOPPNER