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In 2020 as the world was shutting down I was going through a heartbreak and breakup. I didn’t just loose the person I was in love with but I had completely lost myself.

Not only was I heartbroken but I realised I was breaking my own heart living the internal battle of not feeling or believing I was good enough.

The state of not feeling worthy, lovable and good enough completely took over my being and creating an inner mental and emotional battle.

In complete despair and depression I reached out to a friend who suggested I try the same mediation challenge she had been recommended in a Facebook group.

I had heard of meditation but I wasn’t a practitioner what so ever. At this point my spirit was so broken and I realized that I needed something to change as it was too painful to stay in this state of being.

My friend sent me the links and I started to listen to a meditation challenge called 21 Days of Abundance. It was a guided mediations with Deepak Chopra. At first, I didn’t know what I was doing or how I was suppose to feel. I hardly understood the concept of universal laws he was speaking of.

But I was committed and determined to stick with it although my mind would constantly wonder and my body was getting impatient and restless to leave the meditation.

After being consistent for a while, I had a profound moment during meditation. It was one those aha moments that felt like an inner revelation. The self awareness that came over me was profound and like a indescribable mystical experience.

I’m going to do my best to describe it. I was aware that I didn’t feel good enough and that I had a difficult time loving myself and feeling worthy. This narrative was breaking my heart and made it very difficult to be in my own body. Not only was I grieving how I felt about myself, I also felt so hopeless not knowing how to think, feel or act differently.

As I was meditating I could see a tape playing all the negative unloving thoughts and beliefs I was thinking and feeling everyday. I could literarly see and almost touch these negative thought in my mind. I was already aware that I need to work on my sense of self love and worth. But the way I saw my thoughts and beliefs being played in front of my eyes was just crazy. I immediately realized, of course this is how I view the world around me and everyone I come in contact with if this is the reality and perspective I hold of myself. It was a highly mystical moment that was so awakening.

I understood that I need to press STOP on the tape, REWIND and record a new set of beliefs that is more loving if I was ever to change my experience in life. I could not keep playing this tape. I had rewire end program something new more loving.

The moral of this story is, sometimes we don’t see or understand how effective taking time to know your inner world is until one day you become so aware that what you’ve seen cannot be unseen. Where I was blind I can now see!

Once I had seen how horrible my inner perception of myself truly was I knew I had to change. The change was within me and had nothing to do with what was going on outside of me. I am still un learning man y things and learning to feel worthy and enough. I am. giving myself time and grace to heal and remember who I truly am and how worthy I am.

Maybe a little reminder you needed to hear. Give yourself time to heal but also to go within and un derstand your inner world.

Know thy self! No one to change but Self.

With Love,



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