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WHY WE SELF SABOTAGE: & HOW WE CAN BREAK FREE!

Sick of repeated cycles and patterns in life? Feeling done with self sabotaging your own potential for greater fulfillment, happiness, or success? Then diving deeper into you psychological patterns or beliefs may be the answer to your prayer.

Self-sabotage refers to the subconscious or conscious behaviours, thoughts, or actions that hinder one's own progress, success, or well-being. It's a phenomenon where individuals unknowingly undermine their own efforts or achievements, often due to deep-rooted psychological patterns or beliefs.



In the book "The Mountain Is You" by Brianna Wiest, the concept of the "Upper Limit" is discussed. This term originates from the work of Gay Hendricks in his book "The Big Leap." The Upper Limit refers to the self-imposed limitations or barriers that individuals create for themselves, often as a means of protecting themselves from discomfort, vulnerability, or perceived threats to their identity or well-being.


The Upper Limit can manifest in various ways, such as self-sabotage, procrastination, fear of success, fear of intimacy, or fear of happiness. Essentially, it's the point at which individuals sabotage their own potential for greater fulfillment, happiness, or success because they feel unworthy or fearful of the unknown.


In "The Mountain Is You," the author likely explores how individuals can recognize and overcome their Upper Limits by delving into self-awareness, challenging limiting beliefs, and embracing vulnerability as a path to personal growth and transformation.

By understanding the concept of the Upper Limit and recognizing when it's operating in our lives, we can take steps to break free from self-sabotaging patterns and move towards a more authentic and fulfilling existence.


Self-sabotage can manifest in various forms, whether consciously or unconsciously, and is often rooted in complex psychological factors.

Here are some reasons why people engage in self-sabotage:


Fear of Failure: Sometimes, people sabotage themselves because they fear failure or success. This fear can stem from past experiences, low self-esteem, or a lack of confidence.

Low Self-Worth: Individuals with low self-esteem may engage in behaviours that undermine their own success or happiness because they don't believe they deserve it.

Comfort Zone: Stepping out of one's comfort zone can be scary, even if it means pursuing something desirable. Self-sabotage might occur as a way to maintain the status quo and avoid the discomfort of change.

Negative Self-Talk: Internalized negative beliefs and self-criticism can lead to behaviours that reinforce these beliefs, creating a cycle of self-sabotage.

Unresolved Trauma: Past traumas or negative experiences can influence behaviour in subconscious ways, leading to patterns of self-sabotage as a coping mechanism.



Becoming more aware of self-sabotaging behaviours is the first step toward change.

Here are some strategies to help increase self-awareness and address self-sabotage:


  1. Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Journaling can be a helpful tool for identifying patterns and triggers for self-sabotage.

  2. Mindfulness Practices: Cultivate mindfulness through meditation, deep breathing exercises, or mindfulness-based therapies. Mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions in the present moment.

  3. Challenge Negative Beliefs: Question the validity of negative beliefs and self-critical thoughts. Replace them with more realistic and compassionate self-talk.

  4. Set Realistic Goals: Break down larger goals into smaller, achievable steps. Celebrate your progress along the way, and be kind to yourself when setbacks occur.

  5. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family members, or a therapist for support and encouragement. Having a supportive network can help you navigate challenges and stay accountable to your goals.

  6. Develop Coping Strategies: Identify healthy coping strategies to manage stress, anxiety, and other difficult emotions. This might include exercise, hobbies, or relaxation techniques.

  7. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, especially when facing setbacks or challenges. Remember that nobody is perfect, and learning from mistakes is an important part of growth.


Changing self-sabotaging behaviours takes time and effort, but with self-awareness and a true willingness to change, it is possible to break free from destructive patterns and cultivate a healthier, more fulfilling life.


BY: HANNAH ANDERSSON

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